


Only With Love Can You Get Past Writer's Block

by WithPerfectClarity



Category: Umineko no Naku Koro ni | When the Seagulls Cry
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Light Verbal Sparring, Magic Ending (Umineko no Naku Koro ni), Minor Episode 8 Spoilers, casual romance, writer problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29931366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WithPerfectClarity/pseuds/WithPerfectClarity
Summary: Decades have passed, and in her new identity as the children's author Yukari, Ange is having trouble finding a fresh narrative that still resonates with her life. To her, everything she writes feels derivative and repetitive. Mammon decides it's time for an intervention.
Relationships: Mammon/Ushiromiya Ange
Kudos: 6





	Only With Love Can You Get Past Writer's Block

Yukari leaned back in her office chair, sighing softly as she pulled back from her laptop. She regarded the luminous screen for a long moment, before stretching. She’d been staring at it for hours, and Yukari finally had a finished draft of _Sakutarou and the Devious Witch,_ the eighth book in her flagship series. Yes, she already hated it, and her first editing run was now only beginning to loom over her—and that was even before her editor got his hands on it—but finally, Yukari could let out a sigh of having finally concluded the hellish draft.

The ending had been difficult to figure out. Yukari’s initial outline had Sakutarou return to his home after convincing the evil witch to become part of his family, but something had bugged Yukari about it endlessly. Intro hours of workshopping solutions back and forth and late nights agonizing over it. She’d been three weeks on it, and that wasn’t even counting the dread she had felt up until then with the prospect of codifying an ending that so closely tracked with… well…

Soft hands slid around Yukari’s shoulders, and the middle-aged woman found herself grinning as her partner in magic leaned in close, nuzzling her face into Yukari’s hair. There was a moment of appreciative silence as the two enjoyed the moment, before Mammon spoke in a playful tone, “You’re struggling again, Ange? Can I get you anything?”

Sighing, Yukari closed her eyes, shaking her head ever so slightly. She knew her prized furniture had logged the gesture because Mammon squeezed her slightly in response. Another silence—Yukari figured she probably had to say something, “It’s fine, I guess. I mean, it’s bad, but it will do for now.” Leaning back, she pushed her fingers through her bangs, covering her eyes with her palms. The pressure felt nice.

Giggling slightly, Mammon gave her a final squeeze before breaking away. A moment later, Yukari felt her furniture’s feet in her lap, and opening her eyes, she saw that Mammon had perched herself on the edge of the desk, and had repurposed her own lap as a footrest. Yukari didn’t mind, absentmindedly reaching out and beginning to massage her closest confidante’s feet. Seeming satisfied with this gesture, Mammon finally responded, “Hmm, I’m still stuck on the scene where my sisters get to squish Sakutarou, but I’m left out of all the fun. It hardly seems in my nature. Perhaps my mistress had other plans for me.”

Chuckling, Yukari felt herself flushing ever so slightly. As she began to age gracefully, she’d found that Mammon’s incessant foolery made her fluster easier and easier. Age had also sharpened her repartee of responses. “What can I say? I suppose someone taught me to be greedy.” She gave Mammon’s feet a squish for good measure.

Blushing a deeper red than Yukari herself, Mammon looked away. “Ange, you’re too kind.” She visibly bit her lip to hold back further comment.

Yukari leaned an elbow on the arm of her hair, before propping her chin in the palm of her hand. Over the years, Mammon hadn’t aged a moment, but as Yukari had matured, so had Mammon’s demeanor... somewhat poorly. If anything, the furniture had gotten more impetuous. Even as Yukari put her old self further and further behind her, she supposed someone had to be there to keep her from being swamped in anti-magic toxins. Chuckling slightly, Yukari found herself smiling ever so slightly. “I’m happy with the architect Hansel keeping his favorite demon all to himself. I couldn’t let anyone get their hands on his demon bride.”

“You should have fought with your editor to have it be Gretel.”

Yukari laughed, even though she didn’t feel it, suddenly feeling a cold clamminess forming in her stomach. “It wasn’t worth the fight, the story still worked with a gender swap fine.”

“Baby queers around the world say otherwise.” She winked blithely.

Sighing, Yukari shook her head, and Mammon’s mirth instantly drained, seeming to realize seriousness had settled on her mistress once again. “There are little things I like, but all the rest of it I write, and then I read it again, and I don’t feel anything. There’s no golden truth hidden between the lines. I feel like I’m just rehashing the same ending, again and again, ad nauseam, because that’s all I have...” Yukari felt herself tearing up, and she forced herself to look away. She’d been thinking it for the last two books and actually saying it out loud hurt.

Pulling away her feet, Mammon leaned forwards, silent a moment in thought. Her lips parted and like she was about to speak, but after a long moment, she settled into a restless silence. The two women sat there as seconds slipped into minutes. Finally, Mammon spoke, her voice a little hoarse. “I’m sorry Ange, maybe this furniture is all used up. We all tried to give you endless stories, but maybe we’ve—”

Yukari shook her head violently. “No, that’s not it. Mariage Sorciere was founded to provide us endless stories to live in. The perfect Golden Land. I-I promised to safeguard our magic. How can I safeguard our world when I can’t write anymore? I don’t want you to die. I don’t want any of you to die.” Tears were coming freely, and Yukari wrung her hands in distress.

“Shh,” hardly missing a beat, Mammon was there. She’d boosted herself into Yukari’s lap, and gently gripped the writer’s wrists in her own slender hands. “Ange,” Yukari was silenced by Mammon’s stern tone—it always took her breath away when Mammon broke character as furniture. “Maybe our Golden Land meant something different to you before. Maybe it’s not a problem with the catbox you pull ideas from, or the Golden Land itself, but instead, maybe…” Mammon bit her bottom lip for a moment holding back her words, briefly closing her eyes before opening them again, resolving herself to finish her statement. “Maybe it’s something in you that’s changed.” Softly, she leaned forward to kiss Yukari on her forehead. As she did, Mammon softly released Yukari’s wrists, and the writer found her hands settling lightly on Mammon’s collarbone. Her hands… they’d just begun to wrinkle in the last couple of years. Whenever Yukari saw them she couldn’t help but startle. Ange’s hands had always been perfect. Now, Yukari couldn’t recognize them as her own.

Laughing airily, Yukari rested her head against her lover’s lips. “Perhaps you’re right.” She found herself smiling softly. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. 

Pulling Yukari in closer, Mammon lifted her chin to rest on top of Yukari’s head. Entwining the older woman in her arms, Mammon began to stroke Yukari’s hair. “Hey, Ange,” she squeezed her softly, “Regardless, wherever you go, and however your writer’s block resolves…” She shifted so that she could whisper softly in Yukari’s ears. “You’re all mine, and there’s nothing you can do about it. After all, I am greedy.”

Smiling slightly, Yukari wiped away tears with her fingertips, smudging them across her face. “It’s not writer’s block… I don’t have writer’s block, I’m producing work, it's just boring and derivative—Ow!” Mammon nipped her ear. It wasn’t hard enough to genuinely hurt, just enough to startle her.

“Bad is subjective. You can state that your writing is boring and derivative, but to a younger you, it would have been engaging and beautiful work. It’s the author, not the work that has changed.” She shifted, setting her chin once again on Yukari’s head. She grinned, ever so slightly. “As a witch’s furniture, without your authority, I can’t use red, but if you will do your humble servant justice, Ange, please repeat the following, ‘even if Kotobuki Yukari’s work was of poor quality, her furniture Mammon will always love her.’”

Yukari couldn’t help it, she burst out laughing, Pushing the other woman to arm’s length, she made hard eye contact. “It’s been established many times, furniture cannot love. I don’t know how you’d make such a rookie mistake.”

“Mhm,” Mammon chuckled as she painstakingly groomed her fingers through Yukari’s hair. “Ange, you should also know that the delineation of furniture is arbitrary and subjective. It means different things to different people, and therefore, a declaration that furniture cannot love simply means one who believes they cannot love. Also, Kannon was always an idiot?” There was a beat of silence, before Mammon continued, knowing she was speaking well above her station, “you never countered my original blue truth mistress. That means that your writing is both enjoyable to demographics of... not you, and its author is all mine too! In case you don’t counter my truth, I should inform you that I’m not good at sharing.”

There was a long silence, where the two simply smiled at one another. Finally, Yukari spoke in a soft tone. “I have no red truths to counter you. After all, if there’s love, that’s what matters, right?”

“A gold truth then? One last chance?”

Laughing hard, Yukari shook her head vigorously. “No, I think deep down any gold truth I could dig up would agree with you.” Gently, she placed her hands on Mammon’s jaw, leaning forward to kiss her. She didn’t pull away.

A moment later, Mammon had kissed her back, energetically pushing against Yukari’s lips with her tongue beginning for entrance. She was always so energetic. Yukari was imminent aware of her overwhelming exhaustion in moments like these. The two embraced for a long moment, enjoying each other’s company before slowly, Yukari withdrew. In a gentle motion, she rested her head against Mammon’s chest, folding herself into her oldest and closest friend. It was reassuring being held in Mammon’s arms, she remembered the magic that had persisted with her even when she adamantly denied its existence. When her family hadn’t come back, she’d had her magic—even if she denied it. When she’d searched for the one truth, still, her magic had proved stronger. Now, even Ange had been reborn through her magic.

Yukari had tucked her hands up, kneading into Mammon’s warm stomach. She wanted to be as small as she could, entirely subsumed in her protective blanket. She was nervous, and that was reflected in her voice, which was very quiet, and quaked even as she spoke. “I think you’re right. I think I need to find new meanings, but I’m scared.”

Nodding, Mammon gave her a squeeze. “That’s natural. After all, even great witches aren’t immune to fear. I don’t mind it. That just means I have to be here for you when you’re needy, which means I get you all to myself.” Her words were oddly reassuring. They struck at weird angles, and Yukari found herself flushed with heat. She was warm, safe. Still, something bothered her.

“But, what if I reconsider my perspective, and I find that magic isn’t real? What if I lose you? My family?” Yukari gulped air down greedily, even while trying her best to bury herself in Mammon.

The answer was almost immediate. “You won’t look back, after all, you promised, right?” Mammon laughed eagerly, her hands yet again petting Yukari’s hair. “Mistress, I think you can try to recontextualize things and find new magics and riddles to inspire your witchcraft without questioning your belief in magic as a whole. After all, you aren’t going to stop loving, right? Without love, the truth cannot be seen, right? You shattered me once because you lacked love.” Mammon’s voice dropped to a near whisper, words meant only for Yukari’s ears. “No matter how hard you tried to break me now, Ange, I don’t think you could shatter me again.” Gently, she kissed the top of Yukari’s head.

Nodding softly, Yukari nuzzled into Mammon’s collarbone. Her voice was muffled as she spoke. “What do you think I’ll learn?”

“Hmmm,” Mammon earnestly considered for a moment. “Perhaps... oh, I know, Eva and Natsuhi had a complex relationship you in your immaturity did not comprehend which culminated in a secret affair? Oh, or maybe only my sister Lucifer is the only one who actually loves Sakutarou. You missed it because before, you thought all lies were harmful, and we were your friends. Maybe if you really squint Erika’s ex-boyfriend was actually that rat Amakusa? There are a lot of ways I could psychoanalyze you not wanting to see that!”

Pulling away just enough to look up at Mammon, Yukari gave her a questioning look. “Eva and Natsuhi were both married—Eva happily so, the seven stakes of purgatory often come to blows with Lucifer to get at Sakutarou, and Erika and Amakusa’s respective ages would make an unsavory and improbable relationship. Also, why are all your suggestions about romance?”

“Huh, I guess it’s just what’s on my mind.” Mammon grinned ear to ear. “However, I don’t think any of your red truths explicitly disprove my blue ones… I guess you’ll just have to go to the Golden Land and see if they hold water yourself.” 

Yukari found herself smiling. “Okay, I’ll visit the Golden Land, and this time, I’ll go as Kotobuki Yukari, not Ange. I’ll find new truths to weave new stories and spells with.”

Gentle tears escaped from Mammon’s lashes, and she turned, slipping from Yukari’s lap to hide the moment of emotional vulnerability. “Good. Just remember when you’re there…” Spinning around she had a faux grin smeared across her face, “no matter what happens, Mammon-oneesama is always here for you, okay?”

Yukari felt herself going bright red. Mammon was definitely not supposed to bring… that sort of talk… up just any time she felt like it! However, while normally Yukari would have cracked down on it, something about the way Mammon was shaking ever so slightly calmed any rebuttal. Standing to close the gap, Yukari’s legs were asleep from having Mammon sit on them for so long. She stumbled, catching the desk for balance even as Mammon rushed to support her. Instead, the furniture found herself held tightly in a hug.

Speaking softly, Yukari whispered softly in Mammon’s ear. “I love you Mammon. No matter how many years pass, you will always be my first and dearest friend.”

Mammon wasn’t hiding the tears flowing down her face now, as she desperately embraced Yukari. “Ange, I—!”

“Shh.” Cutting her off with a chaste kiss, Yukari rested her forehead against Mammon’s. There was a long silence, before Yukari took a step away, life having returned to her legs. “I’m going to go to find new ways to tell my story as Kotobuki Yukari. Which means, even if only for a little while, I need to put away old ways of thinking… please call me by my current name as well. I need to learn how to tell Yukari’s story, not Ange’s.”

Mammon was wiping tears away but nodded eagerly. “Of course, Yukari, my one and only mistress.”

“Uhm,” Yukari hesitated for a moment, before reaching out and gently placing a hand on Mammon’s shoulder. “I think… just ‘Yukari’ is fine. Okay?”

Making eye contact, Mammon smiled softly. “Sure thing, Yukari.” She smiled ever so slightly.

In return, Yukari couldn’t help but laugh.

**Author's Note:**

> Tangentially related: My personal head-canon is that the present Ange gets from the hide-and-seek/quiz is actually Mammon's stake/paper-weight. I know it's not a possible reward in the VN, but in the manga, we never see it opened and the box is the right shape. It'd be the sweetest thing.


End file.
